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Monday, June 06, 2005
sucess

Mission Accomplished: Succeeded in convincing the parentals to let me have the house to myself for 2 weeks while they're out of town. This is a huge first for them.

wish i had taken some pictures...

I did the unthinkable, I went for coffee with Josh.
Ok I lied. I did want to see him, but definitely not in a more than friendly context.
I'm really happy I did. On some level I missed him a lot and it was fun to hear all his stories.
I made Orbach be my backup incase I wanted to get out early, but wen ended up chilling at a friend's party talking until 2 AM. A good solid 4 hours of conversation to make up for the last year of not talking.
Everything was going fine until he walked me home, gave me a hug goodnight and then said something reminiscent of our first date. It was sweet, but I don't want to go down that path again.
He also sent me a text message later on that night that was a definite indication of interest on his part.
aaaaahhhhhhh...I don't know what to do.

Saturday  Iwent to Cobi's cottage with Aaron and Val. Twas a good time! I even got a bit of a tan. It was disgustingly nice outside, 30 degrees I think, so we went tubing and sailing.
My back is totally baked.


Friday, June 03, 2005
badass

Okay so I totally sneaked out of the house tonight to go for bubble tes with the Cobi. It was a goodtime. I hads my first semi barefoot antic of the summer since I didnt want to get my shoes out of the fear of having my parents wake up.
I'm 19 and I have to sneak out at 12 AM. This is pretty damn pathetic.
It's really cool having him live close by. We've become really good friends lately and I'm considering heading up to his cottage this weekend with some friends and potentially my sister.
And I'm eternally grateful that he was around to listen to my sorry self rant on and on about trivial things. The good thing is that there definitely isnt any sexual chemistry between us. I hate it when friendships are laced with that twinge that makes you over analyze straightforward remarks.

Speaking of which, I fucking hate this time of year. I've been thinking about the infamous Josh quite a bit. I'm curious how he's doing.
It will be a year tommorrow since I vowed never to call him again, speak to him again or contact him in any way.
Well those lines were obviously broken this past winter when he emailed me and I responded.
When he asked to see me again in a perfectly friendly way I said no. I wanted to, I actually really wanted to see him and thats what held me back.
Josh and I always seemed to somehow reconnect and that was the last thing I wanted.

So why the change of heart? The last thing I want to EVER do is go back to him. I'm a hell of a lot smarter now.
Curiosity I guess. And it will pass. I'm definitely not getting in touch with him, he's laced with too much drama.

Finally, I should have an ad up tommorrow for this study I'm reqruiting people for. It's quite the subject.

Thursday, June 02, 2005
mmmm ranting...

Thank you Cobi!


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